11 Nov 2012


The very fact of there being such a giant Western culture, with a different organisation of values and experience than mine, means my own communication is thwarted. For instance, I’m not afraid of using emotion, but when I use it, it is misunderstood as some signal for desiring attention. I have to deliberately make an effort to understand it in that way, because to my mind it is not something outlandish; a special way of signalling that applies specifically to women. I was brought up not to express very much emotion at all, so to my mind, I enter the mainstream when I express emotion. I’m just as comfortable not to, in fact it takes a lot of energy for me to emote, much like if I had to suddenly start to master Italian and communicate via this medium.

So–when people say, “Ah! You expressed yourself emotionally, and therefore you’re a crybaby,” it has the same impact on me as, “Ah! You tried to learn Italian suddenly, and therefore you are crying out to us!”

I have no idea what that very common response means. I’m stymied by it.

I’d prefer not to have to communicate at all, if using a lot of energy produces this result.

This depicts my main confusion with Western society and why I wish to distinguish myself from it.

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