I always had the impression people were hearing something to the effect that I am a very, very big narcissist (this was before I knew what a narcissist was). Later, I understood more about the media propaganda campaign against people with white skin originating from Africa. The campaign had been pretty thorough and made us look like lazy people, placing ourselves at the top of the social pyramid without working to get there and lounging around by the pool all day. No wonder people were angry with me, and no wonder however much I tried to prove myself it was never enough. I had to do combat, constantly, with a false image, and to some extent the false image also became internalized, making me forget my own real memories and what I had really been about whilst I was still in Africa.
Then, when I began to get a sense of how big was the discrepancy between what was real and what was merely projected onto me, those whom I thought would have been automatic allies (on the side of the truth) showed their hands. They were really very much against me.
So it was that I learned about the nature of sweeping propaganda campaigns and how difficult they are to do anything about.
Yes, this is good about dehumanization. This is exactly what happened to me, as society put a narcissist shield over and against me. There was one situation of abuse after another, and nobody could acknowledge it because to admit what had happened (and what was still happening) was the equivalent, in people's minds, of releasing a colonial devil (me) into their midst. So they just kept abusing, and covering up. And how did I know for sure this was abuse? Because I tested the same behavior used against me on others and people certain reacted very quickly and it triggered their moral alarm. But as for me, a totally different standard applied. Any normal, human communication about the issues was dismissed as so much "whining" or even as evidence of multiple character flaws. I had to basically suck it in whilst finding various methods of coping.
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