Don't underestimate for a minute how hard this topic has been for me to address and how much trauma I have had to overcome to address this important issue.  I do not do so lightly.   From a gender point of view, I have been very much a victim of my colonial society.  I was smashed down before I could walk (figuratively). A huge problem with people not understanding the difference between colonialism and modernity is that if you want to free yourself from the controls you don't like about the former you need to fight fire with fire, with a lot of aggressive energy and stealth and that kind of thing.  I have had so many moderners block me from trying to burn down the house.   They claim that they are against oppression -- but certainly they are for mine. If I even try to speak of my experiences in a genteel way, I get downvoted. The conceited moderner always stands above everything I have to do.