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  2. Flail like a clipped pigeon fit then only for the cage wherein one tries to mimic (to some, if only, small degree) the manners of the others birds, but is pecked nearly to death for the slightest transgression of variation. It would usually end in tears, and I was often horrified when the tears were not always my own. I don't know how much better it has been for having given up (or chosen against), at the tender age of 20, on both the cage and the message that my wings were clipped. It was many more years before I discovered ("laughing") that I'm not a bird at all. I go my own way and leave it to those "others" to sort themselves in my wake. I too hesitate and withdraw when responded to emotionally. The cues for the expected response are clear, yet I cannot . . . It's more than a lie; it's disingenuous.
    Jennifer Armstrong 
    +Thursday's Child That was my worst experience in the world -- to go along in every way with what was necessary, as it had been told to me, to conform to a new reality and a new culture, only to have one's complete self-sacrifice denied, and a towering demand made that one still has not sacrificed enough, that much more than this is still required. That's when my rage at my mistreatment first appeared, and luckily it gave me a window into emotion for the first time. After that I stopped caring about conformity and only cared about my liberation.
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  3. When I was first starting to figure out this narcissism thing, I wrote a stream of consciousness story about a father who replaced his son with a dog, without seeming to be able to tell the difference. In fact he killed his son, as a Christian sacrifice, through abandoning him to a dangerous situation and undermining the son's ability to form real relationships. Then he visits the death spot, where the son has died at the hands of others (but in reality as a result of what the father both did and didn't do). He takes notes about the situation, and proclaims it emotionally satisfying. Then he gets a dog and begins calling it by his son's name and proclaiming the virtues of the dog in the same way as he had proclaimed the son's virtues whilst he was alive.
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  5. Why I couldn't ever meet you in convention - YouTube:



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    +Jennifer Armstrong ... very disappointing and tough to go through. I empathize with that feeling of flailing (I like that phrase, by the way: "set up to flail")
     â–¼
    +Fight Narcissism My father set me up this way from a very early age, by deliberately damaging my physical and emotional health.  I remember him pointing to a pigeon whose wings had been clipped and stating that this was what had to happen to women, or they would stray.
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  6. Well it can also be right-wing propaganda, although in my case I experienced the propaganda of the pseudo-left. One of the very worst things I had to deal with in my life was having trained monkeys constantly repeat to me that I'd had unfair privileges because of where I was born, when this really wasn't at all the case, not in the way they imagined it. The opposite was true. I had been treated with very great strictness and sometimes excessive harshness, because of the culture and circumstances into which I had been born. This was a mild, but constant form of gaslighting, that eventually had its very profound impact in that I just didn't know how to relate to contemporary Westerners at all. My own emotions and memories told me the opposite to what they were insisting on. They had had very mild lives, and easy upbringings, in general, whereas I had not had these things. In trying to make these two opposing realities add up, I concluded that Westerners must be extremely sensitive to mild things, since the range of my own experience, and the harshness of it, was entirely outside of their ability to grasp. But then the defenders of political correctness, in turn, accused me of being the one with sensitivity, since I had taken their gaslighting too seriously, and was starting to respond to it in all sorts of ways.
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    Wylliam Reichart
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    +Jennifer Armstrong What a brilliant and insightful post!, for a moment there I had flashbacks to reading Julius Evola's "Revolt against the modern world" (a must read before one becomes dust) :+)
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  10. The Narcissist Lives Trying To Duplicate Their First Supply High With You - YouTube: "That's why I said in my PhD thesis that to see oneself from the outside is liberation"



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